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JANUARY 2004

"Life is a banquet…

… and most poor suckers are starving to death.”

- Rosalind Russell in the film ‘Auntie Mame’

Don’t be one of them! There’s a clever little mind trick that keeps us at arms length from our true selves. We understand that we are individuals and shrink from being told that we are like everyone else, but when it comes to making choices we cling to the safe and the predictable. For the longest time, when ordering Chinese food I always got the same thing – chicken and broccoli. Rather boring, but it was easier that way. No unpleasant surprises.

On the other hand, there were no delightful rewards either. A new takeout menu featured a dish that seemed to be there just to tempt me out of my culinary rut. It was called Amazing Chicken. I thought about it. How could they call it that if it weren’t truly amazing? I took the chance and it was well worth it!

I must admit that since then, I have taken risks with food and on more than one occasion I have been disappointed. But having put my self ‘out there’ expanded my personal menu. I am no longer on automatic pilot when deciding what to have for dinner. The law of averages is on the side of those who dare to “live, live, live!”*

Diversity and balance are at the heart of a healthy diet, so food is an ideal example of something that we should approach thoughtfully. This is a practice that should be applied to making choices about any number of things. Food nourishes our bodies. If we look at the world around us as a banquet, then we can appreciate how everything feeds some part of us. Ideas sustain our minds. Emotions stimulate and nurture our spirit. It is said that ‘variety is the spice of life’ - experiment with what you choose to make a part of your life.

Embrace unfamiliar cultures.

Native American, Caribbean, African, Asian, Celtic. What comes to mind when you think of a culture other than your own? Beyond the melting pot of ethnicity, there is the geographical cross section of lifestyles that makes up our national identity – East Coast, Southern, West Coast, Alaskan or Hawaiian. There are distinct differences which offer opportunities for greater understanding. Customs, folklore, music, food and language all offer a new perspective. When you scratch beneath the surface there is also the occasion to discover common threads that connect us to the human experience.

Explore foreign lands.

There’s no place like home, but think about it. The reason for that very universal sentiment is because each place has its own unique qualities. Set out on a journey to uncover the wonder of every place. It’s not always a matter of securing a plane ticket. You can start off with a book or film that captures the essence of a locale. Allow yourself to get lost. In the words of J.R.R. Tolkien, “Not everyone who wanders is lost”.

Engage challenges.

Stella Adler once said, “Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one”. Are there art forms that you dismiss offhandedly? Resist the urge to discount the value of something because it challenges what you have learned to appreciate thus far. Consider any attempts you have made to be creative. What was the purpose? Was it a statement you wanted to make, or simply to share a moment that touched you in some way? Whether it’s a painting or a poem, communication is at the core of efforts to make art, so listen.

If you do one thing… make courageous choices.

Recommended Reading

- Auntie Mame by Patrick Dennis

- Around the World With Auntie Mame by Patrick Dennis

- Life Is A Banquet by Rosalind Russell

- Myths to Live By by Joseph Campbell

- Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach

- A Man’s Journey to Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach 

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FEBRUARY 2004

LOVE

Not just another 4 letter word.

Love - a simple little word. When all is said and done the fact of love is a simple matter. The fundamental reason for this is that we are hard wired for it. Only when interpretation and insecurity cloud our natural instinct and ability to love, does it become an overwhelming challenge. Beyond the long stemmed roses and Hallmark poetry, love is based on a connection. We love our parents, we love our spouses, we love our children and we love our pets. It is easy enough to spot those pillars of emotional bonding. Who else do we love? Do we love ourselves? Do we love our community? Do we love our world? Why do these questions seem grander, deeper and so philosophically ambiguous?

The biggest obstacle to a positive experience with love is the ‘happy ever after’ syndrome. Wanting good things to last forever is a common desire but against the natural process of life. Change is inevitable and this includes transformations as well as endings. The sense of loss has to be addressed with unreserved honesty. A ‘Pollyanna’ idealism might work in certain situations but often only serves as a temporary Band-Aid or worse – becomes something that provokes hostility or cynicism - they feed on the anger and fear associated with any casualty of love. As good intentioned as it may be, blind optimism does not really respect or acknowledge the pain and frustration that is as sincere a response as any other. How you define loss is as crucial as how you define success. Setting those parameters will usually have a direct correlation to how happy you are.

Relationships on every level are sacred trusts. They have been placed in our care and how we carry out our mission – should we choose to accept it – will be the only meaningful mark we make in the world. Consider love in association with even the most platonic of relationships. Do you love your boss? This is not intended as an endorsement of office romances. Think love in the largest possible sense. You and everyone your work with strive to meet in a central location in the common pursuit of a goal. It may be as cut and dry as earning a paycheck or as monumental as finding the next cure for a dreaded disease. The hierarchy of how we value each of the goals is not the issue. The shared experience is the key to looking at all of your relationships with a sense of appreciation that they are part of the equation that is your life.

How you choose to approach love sets the tone for each and every day. Be clear of your intention. This is an exercise in observation that takes practice. It does not come without sacrifice. The biggest forfeit might be the comfort of familiarity, even with the negative. Being creatures of habit it is easier to cling to the evil you know than to thrust yourself into un-chartered territory. There is no need to become someone other than who you are even if the ideal is modeled after Mother Theresa, Ghandi, or His Holiness the Dalai Lama. The beauty of embracing love within the framework of your life experience will bring about a fresh perspective uniquely your own and set new standards for excellence within your relationships.

If you do one thing…

Love openly, generously and today!

Recommended Reading

Love: What Life is All About by Leo F. Buscaglia

Personhood: The Art of Being Fully Human by Leo F. Buscaglia

Living, Loving and Learning by Leo F. Buscaglia

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MARCH 2004

Cutting Through Clutter & Chaos

A place for everything and everything in its place.

Clutter is the symptom of something you have not addressed. It is sometimes literally building a wall in the attempt to draw your attention to a neglected issue. That wall is blocking your desires to enjoy a balanced existence. Blocked energy equals a blocked life.

How is clutter blocking you? How is it undermining your aspirations for the kind of life you want to live? You may be holding onto the past through possessions that have a sentimental value, but consider that when you clear out a space you are making room for creating new memories. The possibilities are endless when you’re not being held back by the attachment to material possessions. Refocusing that energy into our families, friends and co-workers can be much more rewarding.

Customizing

What is your personality? Does your system need to be pretty or professional? If you don’t like the tools you won’t use them. It’s much like the use of a journal as a repository for your thoughts. If you are given a journal covered in ornate floral brocade and your style leans in another direction then you probably won’t be using it much, if at all.

What are your needs? Figure out what the actual categories are. First and foremost what is currently in a pile that needs to be filed, boxed or tossed? This list will be your guide when you pay your next visit to Staples or Bed Bath & Beyond.

What are your goals? Deciding what you want from organization will often serve as the best motivation. You may want to be more productive, live and work in a pleasant environment, or simply clear the slate and start fresh. 

Zoning

Magazines are a great example of a seemingly harmless item that can build clutter throughout a space. No matter where you decide to flip through the pages of your favorite publication always return them to their designated area. Often we spread out and don’t realize the time has come to edit our collections. Once corralled into a single location you can break them into categories – keeper (smallest stack), current (average stack) and recycle (largest stack).

If you do one thing…

Draw your line in the sand. Select a single location for something that is spreading throughout your home or office - mail, magazines or music.

RECOMMENDED READING

Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston

Organizing from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern

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APRIL 2004

LIVING SOUNDTRACKS

ALTERNATIVE TRACKS

Our minds are quick to make connections – to link things up so that they ‘make sense’. Once strung together they tell a story, or create a mood. Music is one of the most influential elements in this equation. A great example of the power it yields can be experienced through the creation of a soundtrack for something as complex as a movie or as simple as a fashion show. Take the same sequence of footage in a film, turn down the sound on the television and turn up the volume on the stereo and play a piece of classical music. Rewind and replay the same clip with another style of music - rock, country or jazz – each will evoke a different feeling, but also seem to synchronize the unique rhythm with the images. If we take this example and apply it intentionally to our daily lives we can begin scoring our life to the tunes we most want to hear.

OLDIES BUT GOODIES

It’s not always about the new age music for meditation or the high energy workout music when you’re trying to design your auditory environment. Perhaps you need an uplifting albeit corny standard from a Broadway musical to give a hopeful attitude a kick start. Will strumming your air guitar to the beat of a great Rolling Stones classic give you a boost in adrenaline? No matter what the source of the sound the most important factor is that it has a meaning to you - that it touches a place deep inside. Revive your passion and rekindle your dreams by recollecting the music of your youth. The songs that may be stored away on LPs, 45s, cassette tapes or 8-tracks could be just what you need on a CD for your drive home.

SOUND ADVICE

Design your day to include music. Packing your walkman or mp3 player in your briefcase or purse should be as natural as grabbing your sunglasses on a sunny day or a scarf and gloves on a cold one. Turn the walk to work into your own personal fashion runway and let some disco put a strut in your step. Lip balm and sun block may be protection against the elements but music will be a shield against less tangible but equally powerful obstacles. Even the blues have a cathartic soundtrack all of their own to help us to feel what need to feel and then let it go. In the same way, traditional country music and lyrics let us process ordinary actions that seem to take on epic proportions every day.

COURTING THE MUSE

Identify the songs that affect you. Movies or television programs use music as an additional character or chorus that set the tone. ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’ is a song that resurfaces in my life on a regular basis. The first meaningful moment associated with it came on an episode of ‘Designing Women’ that dealt with domestic violence. The song was also featured in the tearjerker ‘Stepmom’ starring Susan Sarandon who is dealing with cancer & Julia Roberts who is trying to bond with future stepchildren. Although both may seem like sad subjects the stories are ultimately about hope, perseverance, survival and moving forward. It’s no wonder that these words instantly fill me with courage and determination.

     Don't you know that
     There ain't no mountain high enough
     Ain't no valley low enough
     Ain't no river wide enough
     To keep me from getting to you

THANK YOU FOR THE MUSIC

Having worked on hundreds of fashion shows, years of television programs and countless special events, I have seen first hand how music can transform the simplest of situations into a memorable moment.  Bob Hope revitalized war torn environments for our troupes overseas through humor and music for much of his lifetime. We can learn an important lesson from this time tested practice – even in extreme situations the power of music reminds us of who we are, where home is and how to tap into the power within. Be thankful for the music and, “Thanks for the memories”.

IF YOU DO ONE THING…

Don’t wait for a special occasion to fill your day with the sounds in which you find comfort, strength and joy.

*** *** ***

MAY 2004

Personal Histories

Are you on the road to repeating yours? Again?

Getting Directions

Are you going around in circles? Do you find that no matter how hard you try to move forward you seem to end up in the same place? Whether that question struck a cord with you because of a personal relationship, a dead end job and/or an unrequited dream it is clearly the time to make a course correction in your life. For some asking the question alone will be enough to provoke an immediate decision because instinctually we know what we need to do to move on. For others who may have had those issues pushed a little further back, a great reminder can be revisiting the works of individuals who stirred your passion and sense of idealism.

In The Driver’s Seat

Once you’ve prepared for the journey it’s time to take action. Put the key in the ignition, rev up the engine, and step on the gas! Avoid the potholes that come in the form of unsupportive friends, family or co-workers as well as our own inner voice which can undermine even the best laid plans. If we are to reap the rewards of a ‘brave new world’ we must muster up a little courage so that we can stay true to our desire for change.

Shifting Gears

When you’re ready to pick up speed the transitions are as important as the destination itself. Time and experience inspire confidence. There are moments when picking up the pace is exactly what will propel us into the next phase of our development. Take comfort in the time and energy you have put into preparing for your transition. Trust that you’re ready for what’s ahead and that you can handle any surprises that present themselves.

Sight Seeing

Along the way a scenic detour may just be what you need. Remember that it’s important to take the time to enjoy the sights, sounds and senses that you encounter. The unplanned and unexpected can be guides to the unimagined. Joseph Campbell captured the concept quite clearly when he said, “We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” So, get out of your own way.

The Open Road

The media and technology may create a sense of the world being a really small place, but it is still as vast and varied as ever for the individual explorer within all of us. Getting back to basics - it’s about us and the path we’ve chosen. There is a powerful intimacy that is unique to the connection between our dreams and our selves. Like any other relationship it needs to be nurtured, encouraged and then allowed to flourish on its own. Sunlight, fresh air, and even rainy days will all be important elements contributing to growth - our growth.

If you do one thing…

Get behind the wheel and go …somewhere …anywhere!

Recommended Reading

The Power of Intention – Learning to Co-create Your World Your Way by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire by Deepak Chopra

The New Agreements In The Workplace by David Dibble

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

*** *** ***

JUNE 2004 

COMMON SENSES
Fundamental Living

When you think of the term ‘standard of living’, money might be the first thing that comes to mind. It can be applied more appropriately to how well you access the natural wealth that life has to offer. The basics that your fives senses reward you with every day, if (and this is a big IF) you condition your senses to function at peak performance levels.
 
SEE with eyes wide open.
Shades of experience diffuse and distort our vision. Refrain from rash reactions to how you interpret what you see. Allow yourself to experience you initial feelings but then be open to alternate perspectives by taking the time to observe the bigger picture.
 
LISTEN actively with ears finely tuned.
Passive reception of information is a wasted opportunity. With so much information being fired at us around the clock it’s fair to say most of us have learned to tune out. It’s time to tune back in. Making a conscious decision to do so then gives you a reason to edit the flow. Don’t hesitate to periodically shut off the media via television and the internet or excuse yourself from a conversation that is numbing your brain.
 
REACH out with both hands & your heart.
Extending yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually connects you to life. Rainy days and Mondays may put you in the mood to hide under the covers. Expending a little effort could be all you need to shrug off a gray day and enjoy unexpected pleasures. Just today I braved the stormy weather to visit with a friend and her 3-yearold daughter. Witnessing the little girl’s wonder and awe at a waterfall in the mall, that I’ve passed hundreds of times, is a memory that will stay with me for a long time.
 
SPEAK with a well trained voice.
Be true to your vision, your ideals and your dreams and your message will ring true and far. Even at the risk of being unpopular holding fast to our convictions is a noble and virtuous thing. You would never want to intentionally let your words hurt another person, but you also need to consider your emotional health when deciding whether or not to suppress who you really are in a situation. With time it will be understood that “what you see is what you get” when others are dealing with you – no games, no politics and nothing but the truth.
 
BREATHE life in with great vigor.

Passionate engagement in every breathe we take is the key to living in the present. Only fools are without fear or trepidation over the unknown or dangerous situations, but risk taking can be exhilarating and educational. While playing it safe may mean surviving longer it does not necessarily equal happier. We also forfeit growth as a human being when we cut ourselves off from the chance to expose who we really are. 

Cultivating a heightened awareness is a key way to live fully and appreciate everything we’re exposed to. Although the most practical of advice may be understood it’s doesn’t always seem like it we have the time to implement it. The spirit may be willing but realities like getting a little one through the relentless schedule of academic, social and sports activities or working late to keep up with the demands of the fast track, end up blurring the line between what we need and what we want. Ironically enough it’s easier to deny ourselves those things that we really require to experience balance in our lives. In the long run that can be too high a price to pay. Enjoy every sight, every sound, every taste, every scent and every sensation with voracity!

If you do one thing…

Identify what triggers each of your senses to respond acutely and surround yourself with them.

Recommended Reading

The Voice of Knowledge: A Practical Guide to Inner Peace by Don Miguel Ruiz & Janet Mills

Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle

Seven Masters, One Path: Meditation Secrets from the World’s Greatest Teachers by John Selby

Running from Safety: An Adventure of the Spirit by Richard Bach